I’m learning but it’s a process!

We humans are a quirky bunch! When things piss us off or bring no value to our lives we accept and continue on doing the same things time and time again.

Albert Einstein: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

We would rather whine, moan and complain rather than fix what needs to be fixed. Negativity happens quickly and naturally. Maybe we need to grow a pair and move on.

Sounds simple right? But what holds us back? Not being liked or loved? Being ostracized? Losing our herd?

I have said this before and I will say it again. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with so be selective. (Thanks Jim Rohn)

Maybe it’s time we looked after ourselves and do what is best for us!

Sometimes it’s time to let go of the people in your life that don’t bring you joy, lift you up and make your face happy!

Easier said than done….I know. I have had to cut ties with people over the years because they became those “energy vampires”. Every time I spoke with them I felt so unhappy after. It’s not a great feeling to let go of relationships but if they bring you down and make your life miserable you have no choice unless you want to continue banging your head against the wall.

You can’t fix people! Plain & simple. Their journey is not your journey. Their problems are not your problems. Not saying you need to be heartless but you need to protect your heart.

You know the people in your life that enhance it. They might have issues but they talk about them in an almost positive manner, trying to find resolution. They don’t take you down to the depths of hell where they need your company.

Sometimes you just need to let go.

I had a friend that was physically, mentally and sexually abused by her father while her mother turned a blind eye. All of her therapists told her she needed to set boundaries and let them go. She couldn’t and it ended up destroying her. It destroyed her marriage and she lost her daughter. When her father was dying she was at his bedside everyday. I asked her how she could be that compassionate after all he’d done. She said simply “he’s my father”. Commendable, to say the least, but her interactions with him up to the end were awful. Nothing got fixed. It sent her into a further spiral. If she had severed the ties I think her life would have been a whole lot different.

Is it fair to any of us to hold on to those relationships just because they are family, just because you’ve been friends forever, just because you feel sorry for the person? Are you being callous and uncaring? No! You are looking after yourself! You will become a far stronger person when you make sure you are looked after first and you will be able to look after the people that need it most.

You can be kind, caring, empathetic, sympathetic and loving even if you put yourself first. Probably more so. When you are mentally, physically and emotional strong you can conquer the world!

So maybe it’s time to quit that job that is slowly killing your spirit, drop that so called friend that talks endlessly about how hard done by they are or quit calling the family member that makes you feel like a loser.

Be kind to yourself. Love you for who you are.

You deserve happiness and peace!

Gayle Impey

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